Self Esteem Therapy: Rebuilding Self-Worth with Support That Sticks

Low self-esteem can be loud. Or it can be subtle. It might sound like “I’m not good enough” or “Why bother?” Or show up as overachieving, people-pleasing, or brushing off compliments like it’s your full-time job.

At Beaches Therapy Group, we see self-esteem struggles every day and we also see what happens when people start working through them. Spoiler: it’s not about just thinking positively or saying affirmations in the mirror (though hey, no shade if that helps). It’s about something deeper.

If you’re curious about how therapy can help you rebuild self-esteem, without spiraling into shame or perfectionism, you’re in the right place. Let’s break it down.

What Is Self-Esteem, Really?

Self-esteem is your internal sense of value. It shapes how you relate to yourself, how you show up in relationships, and how resilient you feel when things get hard.

According to CAMH, low self-esteem is often linked to early life experiences, trauma, social comparison, or chronic criticism—external voices that eventually become your own inner dialogue.

The good news? Self-esteem is absolutely something you can work on. And therapy is a powerful way to start.

Why Do So Many of Us Struggle with Self-Esteem?

Low self-worth doesn’t come out of nowhere. It’s usually built over time. Sometimes quietly.

Here are some of the most common root causes we explore in self esteem therapy:

1. Childhood Experiences

If you grew up with caregivers who were critical, unavailable, or inconsistent, that impacts how safe and worthy you learned to feel. So does being bullied, rejected, or compared to others. Even if it “wasn’t that bad,” your nervous system remembers.

2. Social Messages

Unrealistic beauty standards, hustle culture, social media highlight reels, none of this helps. Add in systemic harm (racism, homophobia, sexism, ableism), and it’s no surprise many people feel like they’re not enough.

3. Perfectionism

Trying to earn worth by being perfect is a full-time job with no benefits. The bar always moves, and you’re never done. Therapy helps you understand where this pattern started and how to loosen its grip.

4. Mental Health

Depression, anxiety, and eating disorders can twist how we see ourselves. These aren’t just chemical imbalances; they also impact your inner voice.

5. Life Transitions

Job loss, breakups, parenting struggles, burnout, immigration, big changes can shake your confidence, especially if you didn’t get support the first time around.

Signs Your Self-Esteem Could Use Some Love

You might benefit from self esteem therapy if you:

• Constantly criticize yourself
• Avoid challenges or risks out of fear of failure
• Struggle to say “no” or set boundaries
• Feel like you’re never “enough”
• Brush off compliments or praise
• Feel hyper-sensitive to feedback or rejection
• Think other people are just “better” than you

On the flip side, healthy self-esteem isn’t about arrogance. It’s about:

• Feeling grounded in who you are
• Accepting your strengths and flaws without shame
• Trying new things, even if they’re hard
• Setting boundaries and trusting your “no”
• Being kind to yourself on tough days

How to Treat Self-Esteem in Therapy

Here’s what self esteem therapy actually looks like when you work with a therapist at Beaches Therapy Group. No judgment, no generic advice. Just real tools, tailored to you.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

CBT is a gold-standard tool for changing self-critical thoughts. We work together to identify those automatic “I’m not good enough” beliefs and then practice replacing them with more balanced, compassionate ones.

Mindfulness and Self-Compassion

Sometimes the inner critic is just loud. Mindfulness helps you hear it without obeying it. Self-compassion helps you answer back with kindness instead of shame.

Narrative Therapy

You are not the worst thing that ever happened to you. Narrative therapy helps you reframe your story highlighting your values, resilience, and hard-earned strength.

Strengths-Based and Trauma-Informed Care

We start with your whole story, not just the hard parts. Our trauma-informed approach means we understand how past pain impacts self-worth, and we move at your pace. Always.

How to Work on Self Esteem in Therapy

Every client’s path is different, but here are some things you might work on in self esteem therapy:

• Exploring the origins of your beliefs about yourself
• Naming and challenging critical thoughts
• Building language around your strengths and values
• Practicing boundary-setting and assertiveness
• Learning how to receive (not deflect) compliments and care
• Reconnecting with your body and emotions safely
• Developing self-kindness, not just “self-improvement”

You don’t have to change everything overnight. Small shifts add up. And every time you respond to yourself with a little more care, you’re doing the work.

Final Thoughts: Self-Worth Isn’t Earned. It’s Remembered.

Self-esteem doesn’t come from achievements or other people’s approval. It comes from remembering who you are underneath the layers of shame, pressure, and comparison.

If you’re wondering how to work on self esteem in therapy, the answer is: gently, patiently, and with support that actually gets it.

Building Self-Esteem Isn’t About Becoming Someone Else

It’s about coming home to who you’ve been all along beneath the criticism, the people-pleasing, and the pressure to prove your worth. Self esteem therapy isn’t about fixing you. It’s about helping you see that you were never broken.

Whether your self-esteem took a hit years ago or you’ve only recently started noticing how hard you are on yourself, therapy can help you shift those patterns with compassion and intention. It’s not quick. It’s not always easy. But it is possible.

At Beaches Therapy Group, we walk alongside you as you untangle old beliefs, build new ones, and start treating yourself like someone who matters, because you do.

Ready to get started? You don’t need to have it all figured out. Just bring your curiosity, a little courage, and whatever uncertainty you’re carrying. We’ll meet you there.

Book your free 15-minute consultation

Serving Toronto and all of Ontario, in person and online