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Grieving the loss of a loved one is humanity’s most profound and challenging experience. The journey is filled with overwhelming sadness, loneliness and even anger. Getting through all this is a process that takes time, and cannot be rushed. Everyone experiences grief uniquely, and there’s no “one-size-fits-all” approach. The most important thing is to go at your own pace and find practices that comfort you. Meditation can be a valuable part of your toolkit for navigating loss. It offers small moments of peace and connection during an otherwise difficult time. Research suggests that regular meditation during grief can bring measurable benefits to build resilience and foster peace. It allows you to sit with the flow of emotions instead of feeling controlled by them.
The Benefits of Meditation During Grief
You can profoundly help your mind and body by incorporating meditation into your routine for as little as 10-15 minutes a day. Research has shown that meditation helps reduce stress, enhance focus, and cultivate feelings of well-being. Meditation during grief can lower cortisol levels which reduce blood pressure and heart rate, improve sleep quality, and ease symptoms of anxiety and depression.
Studies have also proven how meditation strengthens the neural pathways associated with calmness and compassion, which increase the brain’s capacity for positive thinking. One study published in Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience shows how meditation activates the brain’s “default mode network” (DMN). This is a part of the brain involved in self-reflection and emotional regulation. This allows us to experience emotions without feeling overwhelmed by them. Meditation also increases the brain’s gray matter density, especially in areas linked to emotional processing. This allows you to handle stress and self-soothe during times of loss.
How to start Meditation during Grief
If you have never meditated before, then start by being compassionate with yourself. The premise is about being present, so don’t worry about perfection. Here are a few steps that will help you get started.
- Create Your Space: Find a quiet place to sit or lie down comfortably without disturbance. Turn the light down, or play soft music if it helps you relax.
- Breathe with Intention: Close your eyes and inhale deeply through your nose. Then exhale slowly through your mouth. Focus on the rhythm of your breathing, feeling each inhale and exhale. Place your hands on your chest or belly if this helps you connect with the movement of your breath.
- Release Distractions: Let go of outside thoughts or concerns as you settle in. It’s natural for your mind to wander; simply guide your attention back to your breathing when it does.
- Hold Your Loved One in Mind: Picture the face of the person you’re missing. Imagine they’re with you, or simply let their memory rest in your thoughts. If you’d like to share a message with them, take this time to convey your thoughts.
- Experience Emotions: Think of a warm, happy memory of love and connection. Drench yourself in that moment to re-experience the emotions.
- Release with Gratitude: When you’re ready, thank your loved one for being part of this experience. Imagine a gentle, peaceful goodbye for now.
- Return to the Present: Slowly return your awareness to the space around you. Take a few more deep breaths, feeling the energy return to your body from head to toe. When you are ready, open your eyes and give yourself a moment to reflect.
Meditation during grief creates a space for you to coexist with your feelings instead of avoiding them. It allows you to process your emotions naturally without rushing through them. Make this your gentle place to cope with your pain while building resilience.
Bereavement Support
Bereavement is a time to take care of yourself. Reach out to others for help and companionship to ensure you eat well and have plenty of support. This help can come from family, friends, support and faith groups. Structure your meditation routine by downloading grief-focused meditation exercises on apps, like Calm and Insight Timer.
Many people will describe the first year following a significant loss as the worst, where heavy emotions arrive in waves like a roller coaster. After a loved one passes, you will go through first birthdays, anniversaries and family gatherings without your loved one. Memories of what you did last year may suddenly derail all the progress you believe you have made. These ebbs and flows of painful emotions can leave you feeling hopeless. Over time, family members may expect you to come out of your grief and “be better” faster than you can. Some individuals suffer silently about unresolved matters when a family member passes. Others end up carrying a lot of guilt because they feel relief, instead of sadness or sorrow, with the passing of a spouse. These can be very complex emotions to work through on your own.
Often, and especially when grief is prolonged, the services of a professional can be beneficial. Our trained and compassionate therapist will honour your emotional experiences and provide a safe, non-judgmental space to help you verbalize your grief story to untangle complicated emotions.
Please contact us for help in managing your grief.
