Are you ready to tell your toddler about the new baby? Congratulations! Preparing your toddler to be a sibling is a pivotal task of parenthood and one of the most fun! You already know they’ll soon have fierce competition for the title of “Most Important Member of the Household.” Your adorable, territorial toddler is about to become the “big kid.” But don’t forget, like all promotions, this must come with a raise, too.
Dr. Becky Kennedy is a leading authority on preparing kids for big transitions. Known affectionately as “Dr. Becky,” she’s a clinical psychologist, author, and parenting expert whose “Good Inside” approach helps kids feel secure and valued. Dr. Becky’s work centers on helping parents navigate tricky moments with empathy and confidence while building a strong, positive connection with their kids. Having her voice in your ear will offer a heartwarming and practical guide when preparing your toddler to be a sibling and helping them thrive through the transition. Here are her top five (mostly) foolproof tips:
Timing is Everything
Toddlers do not understand the concept of time. Consequently, Dr. Becky suggests breaking the news when your bump is obvious and keeping it simple. This way, your toddler won’t have to sit around for weeks and months, becoming impatient and possibly anxious. Start with something like, “Mommy has a new baby growing, and you’re going to be a big brother or sister soon!” A straightforward explanation and short countdown will keep them from becoming overwhelmed with details they don’t need. It’s also how you can build excitement and positive anticipation for the big changes to come.
Reassure and Then Reassure Some More
No matter what’s happening around them, Dr. Becky emphasizes how kids need to feel secure in their place with you. Therefore, setting aside time for extra cuddles or favourite activities will help your toddler know they’ll always be special, even with a new baby around. A few loving reminders like, “You’ll always be my first baby,” or “No one could ever take your place in my heart” can make a huge difference in calming any budding jealousy that can show up when preparing your toddler to be a sibling.
Get Them Involved in the Process
Bring your toddler along on the journey—literally! Invite them to listen to the baby’s heartbeat, feel the kicks, or look at ultrasound pictures. Dr. Becky recommends using questions like, “Do you think the baby will have curly hair like you?” which can make the new baby feel real and less of an abstract idea. Toddlers love being included and “in the know.” Get them involved with picking out clothes or choosing toys for the baby. You will make them feel like they’re part of the team.
Give Them a “Gift from the Baby”
This one’s a classic—and with good reason! A special gift from the new baby = Instant Friendship! Select a toy they’ve been wanting or something memorable that they’ll treasure. Dr. Becky suggests that a present “from the baby” is a gesture that can spark warm fuzzy feelings. Your toddler will feel less threatened and more excited about the baby.
Your Little Helper
Toddlers love a big-kid job, especially one they can proudly call their own. Give them little tasks like handing you a diaper or picking out a pair of socks for the baby. Dr. Becky’s approach encourages giving toddlers a role that feels important. Remind them that they get to teach the new baby all the cool things—like how to make funny faces or sing a favourite song. This shows them that they’re gaining a special role rather than losing their title as the “baby” of the family.
Your kids will eventually become the best of friends, but this won’t happen overnight. Be patient with your toddler, and let them see that having a new sibling means a new playmate and partner-in-crime. Reassure them of your love as they adjust.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Dr. Becky would applaud any parent for their effort in navigating this tricky transition. Preparing your toddler to be a sibling can be quite a feat. Preparing your toddler to be a sibling can be quite a feat, and adjusting to two kids at home can bring up a host of emotions for parents as well as toddlers. Having a new baby in the family is wonderful but can be challenging in a myriad of ways; if you’re also struggling with your own adjustment, give us a call. A professionally trained therapist who understands child psychology and parenting can help you bring harmony back into your family dynamics.
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